Hidden purposes

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Forgive the introspection which seems to be a big part of my thought life here in South Sudan! (The problem with introspection is that it doesn't always bring sufficient answers which lead to peace, however, it can also launch us into conversation with God which does bring peace.)

There may have been moments in your life where you find you are thinking 'why'... for me, I have had an undercurrent of 'why' running throughout our time in South Sudan so far. In human terms - this was a bad decision. I cannot remember being less happy! The things I want to do, I can't. The things I think I 'need' aren't here. The comforts I run to are not available. And the big 'reason' I came has been met with disappointment - I haven't seen much classic, hands-on Humanitarian work yet. 

But God gave me a new perspective this morning. What if there are hidden purposes which are the reasons God has brought Steve and me here? What if He is doing an important thing here and has positioned us so that we can play our part? What if we are co-labourers with Christ in ways we don't know about? 

God reminded me that if He is really Sovereign, the Boss, and the One who directs my life, then He has put me here. Now. In this job. And if He has done that, He has reasons. They may be the big, obvious 'Humanitarian' reasons (like facilitating life-saving interventions), or it could be far less visible. It could be that I am here to work in this job, give encouragement to colleagues, and then leave... Or it could be because this is the perfect set of circumstances through which to do something in me. Hidden under the depths, words have been spoken, work has been done, things have moved forward which are part of an important Big Picture known by God.

So the question is: what attitude shall I choose to adopt. Too many days have had a tinge of misery and despair, where I have been furiously digging for answers. But there is a choice towards joy; towards trusting that God knows the reasons 'why', towards an ease of heart and taking comfort from God's presence and planning. I can choose to enjoy the ride rather than dig for reasons for everything. 

It's easy to say... let's see what Monday morning looks like!

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