19 on the clock

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19 days left in Syria until we fly home - time is moving slowly and yet the weeks are being swallowed up. It probably is not a time to over-analyse thoughts and feelings, for it is a mix including impatience, boredom, and plenty of moments trying to capture and absorb the sights, sounds and smells. For I will never forget Syria, and I am sure there will be times I wish to be back - to reconnect with friends and to remember the place. Last year, the tug to leave was stronger; this year, Syria has given a lot back to us. 

It has been an interesting week... let me tell you and you can see what you think! I've been seeing Penny (Think Forward Career Counselling) over recent months, and have felt an injection of energy and spark towards work, bringing me hope that I may find better-fitting roles that will bring a greater sense of satisfaction. She has supported me to understand what roles I may like, and to identify which organisations I feel drawn to in Nottingham. Along the way, I have been applying for roles I see which tick my boxes.

Community Integrated Care is a lovely organisation supporting people with disabilities, and they have an office in Basford. They advertised for a 'Regional Support Coordinator' to work alongside the Support Manager - delivering admin support +. Lots of my boxes were ticked! A cause I can get behind, 4 days per week, the tasks looked ok. So I went for it, and was offered the job. However, in one of the interviews I became more aware of the possibility of being bored by repetitive and mundane tasks, and a lack of opportunity to use my other skills. Panic. 

I arranged a chat with the Support Manager who would be my boss to express my concerns, and he kindly listened and replied saying he had wondered if I would find it a bit light-weight, and if I would seek something a bit more meaty. He did say there is plenty of room in the organisation to progress, and he assumes I will quickly move around. However, it brought both comfort that he understood, but also permission to say no since he also identified the same issues. So the question became - do I feel called and connected to CIC's mission and values? Of course I am fully supportive... but is it something I want to be really involved with? 

Honestly, the answer is no. I am inspired by, and grateful to, those who are involved in this work - it is essential and wonderful. But I feel a reluctance to give my heart. I would like a role that uses my skills a bit better (thanks Penny), but that is also not at the sharp end of caring for people who would tug my heart. 

Other jobs are coming up with organisations I put on my 'wish list' and Penny has encouraged me not to rush, but to take time when we are home. I think she must be right - she is the expert! And she will support me until I get a great job. I am grateful to her, and think we might end up as friends after all of this! 


19 days left to work, spend in the apartment, hand over, say goodbye, and pack up. A short time relatively, yet still a long time!   

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